Catching Feelings
by Stormaggedon Dark Lord of All
Summary: Kurt and Sam have been friends since preschool. What will happen when Sam finds out he is a Dom and finds Kurt's name in the Sub files?
1. What Makes You Beautiful

**I don't own Glee, obviously..**

* * *

"Hey Kurt, Sam's here!" Dad called from upstairs.

"Send him down!" I called back. A few moment later Sam stomped down my stairs. "Hey. How ya doin?" I asked setting my magazine down.

"Okay. My parents are still pissed about the stripper thing. I honestly don't see their issue. I'm 18 for god's sake." He collapsed on my bed face first. "Huph muph meruph mmmb..."

"I beg your pardon?" I laughed.

"I loved doing it." He turned his head. "I loved it a lot. I still do it sometimes in my basement." He trailed off, staring at the pole that held my ceiling up. "When my parents leave the house, I actually turn the music on outside of headphones."

"I'll be right back. Want something to eat or drink?" I stood up and made my way to the stairs.

"Soda would be awesome. And something salty maybe..." He sat up.

I came back down a few minutes later with a six pack of Sprite* and a bag of chips. "So my dad understands the dancing thing. He said I had full rights of door locking, he wouldn't come down anyways. If you want to dance you can. I'm not trying to hit on you, just so you know." I sat the snacks down and tossed Sam a sprite.

"Really? I can?" He smiled so big it was as if I had just told him I was giving him a free litter of puppies. "Thank you so much Kurt!" He jumped up and threw his arms around me.

"No problem." I sat down and he pulled out his iPhone*, he started searching through it but then tossed it to me.

"Since you are letting me do this, what song should I do? I have Spotify* so I can do any song. Actually, here just pick something up beat and hit play."

"Okay..." I thought for a minute and then decided on a song.

_You're insecure,_  
_Don't know what for,_

Sam's eyes lit up. "Love this song!"

_You're turning heads when you walk through the door,_  
_Don't need make-up,_  
_To cover up,_  
_Being the way that you are is enough,_

He started singing along as he worked his way up and down the pole. Damn. Sam made One Direction hot. Don't ge me wrong Liam is super fine, but Sam is just making them all sexy.

_Everyone else in the room can see it,_

_Everyone else but you,_  
_  
_

___Baby you light up my world like nobody else,_

___The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed,_

___But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell,_

_You don't know,_

___Oh oh,_

___You don't know you're beautiful,_

___If only you saw what I can see,_

_You'll understand why I want you so desperately,_

_Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe,_

_You don't know,_

_Oh oh,_

_You don't know you're beautiful,_

___Oh oh,_

___That's what makes you beautiful_

Sam could sing and dance at the same time. So. Fucking. Hot. The song ended and he did one final twist thing on the pole. "Thank you, Kurt. That felt good." He sat on the floor against the end of my bed. "So there's a reason why I asked if I could come chill tonight."

"And that reason is?" I asked, sipping my drink.

"As you know I just turned 18...and you're turning 18 in two weeks..." He started. He took a deep breath and continued. "I'm a Dom, Kurt. And I went to the office thing yesterday. Why didn't you tell anyone you were a Sub?" He asked me.

"I didn't want Karofsky finding out...He would've claimed me. I had them hide my file from him, and if I would've told anyone, he would have somehow found out, even if I only told like Cedes..." I trailed off. "Wait. Are you saying what I think you're saying? I thought you were straight?"

He laughed. "Bi actually. But, Kurt I think I might be in love with you...and what better way for a Sub and Dom than to actually enjoy each others company anyways?"

Two weeks later I find myself standing outside of Sam's new- my new- house. I didn't realize how long I'd been standing there thinking until Sam cleared his throat. I blushed and walked up the steps. "Sorry." I mumbled.

"Your room is upstairs on the left. I won't make you sleep in my bed until you're ready." He went into the kitchen. "Want food?"

I nod, but then realize he isn't in the room or looking at me. "Yea sure. Thank you." I remember to add at the last second.

"We will go over rules when you come back down okay sweetie?" He wasn't asking if it was okay with me. He was just being polite.

I took my stuff upstairs and headed back down. "Where do you want me to sit?" I asked, unsure of how this worked. My dad was sub and I don't remember where he sat.

"For now, across from me at the table." He set down two plates, one had cheese on it, the other held crackers. "I remember your dad making this for us growing up."

"Me too. I miss that." I sat down after Sam did.

"So the rules. I already stated that I won't make you sleep in my room until you're ready. Another thing is, you must always call me Master or Sir. When we have guests over, you will either sit on the floor at my feet or on my lap. After this conversation, you will sit at my feet when we sit down for anything. When we have company, you must tap my knee or hand before you can speak." He picked up a piece of cheese and ate it. "I don't have a collar for you right now, but I will order one. You may pick it out." I smiled big at that. "Unless I tell you otherwise, you have to crawl when we have company. You do not have to get a job if you don't want to. I can provide for both of us. I get off work at six most nights. I will text you if otherwise. I want you kneeling by the door when I get home. The only exception being if I give you permission to not. There will be punishments if you are bad, but I will never go into the abusive dom mode." He picked up more cheese, before putting it into his mouth he asked, "Questions?"

"Only one. May I pick out my collar now?" I asked smiling.

"Of course. The computer is open to the site. Go pick one out. I have it set so you can't see the prices, so pick out whichever you want." He shoved the cheese in his mouth and went into the kitchen again.

I sat at the computer. I must've been there for an hour before I found the perfect one. It was black with a blue tint and had red stitching. "I found the one I like, Master." I said. I moved off the chair and sat on the floor. "Will you order it please?"

"Sure sweetie." He sat down and typed in the information needed, clicked a few times, typed some more then looked down at me. "It's on it's way." He pushed my bangs back. "Would you like to do anything?" He asked.

I thought for a minute. He probably didn't mean a board game or something like that. "Will you kiss me, Master?"

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**Let me know how you like it. If you like it let me know. I will continue if you guys like it.**

***I don't own these.**


	2. Grenade

***UPDATE***

**Sorry it's been so long, I've been so so so busy.**

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"Will you kiss me Master?"

"Come with me pet." He went upstairs and I followed. He sat on his bed.

I shifted from foot to foot. "I- I don't know where to sit..." I trailed off.

"For now, right beside me." He smiled. I sat beside him. "Now I'm going to give you a couple weeks to get used to being a sub. So that means tonight you decide how far we go." He kissed my neck. "What should the safeword be?"

"Glee." I tilted my head so he had more to kiss. "That feels good Master."

"Does it now?" He grazed his teeth across the skin. He laughed when I shivered.

When he pulled away I pouted. He smiled and pushed lightly on my shoulders. I leaned back.

He stradled me and leaned down. "Still okay?" When I nodded he leaned the rest of the way and kissed me. Not just any kiss though, this was full of passion and desire. I wasn't ready to go all the way, but I could tell Master was. I decided to keep my lips sealed and not use the safeword tonight. Master slipped his hand up my shirt. I tensed, hoping Master didn't notice.

"Kurt...this isn't fair to you. I can tell you barely want my hand up your shirt." Master sat up.

"I'm sorry Master. I just haven't ever been with anyone before...well Britney, but we didn't do anything except heavily make out." I looked down.

"It's fine Kurt... I'm going to go take a shower." Master got up and walked into the bathroom. I heard the door lock.

"Master is not happy..." I mumbled to myself.

I told Master I needed a nap and he told me I could go upstairs, but I heard the piano so I snuck down the stairs and kneeled by the door to the basement.

_Easy come, easy go, that's just how you live_

_Oh, take, take, take it all but you never give_

_Should've known you was trouble from the first kiss_

_Had your eyes wide open, why were they open?_

Master was crying. I could hear it in his voice.

_Gave you all I had and you tossed it in the trash_

_You tossed it in the trash, yes you did_

_To give me all your love is all I ever asked_

_'Cause what you don't understand is_

_I'd catch a grenade for ya_

_Throw my hand on a blade for ya_

_I'd jump in front of a train for ya_

_You know I'd do anything for ya"_

I need to let him in...

_I would go through all this pain_

_Take a bullet straight through my brain_

_Yes, I would die for you, baby_

_But you won't do the same_

_No, no, no, no_

I started to walk slowly down the stairs. I practiced going down them quietly the other day and managed to avoid all the noisy spots. I sat on the bottom step. Master was at the baby grand with his back to me.

_Black, black, black and blue, beat me 'til I'm num_

_bTell the devil I said, hey, when you get back to where you're from_

_Mad women, bad women, that's just what you are, yeah_

_You'll smile in my face then rip the brakes out my car_

_Gave you all I had and you tossed it in the trash_

_You tossed it in the trash, yes, you did_

_To give me all your love is all I ever asked_

_'Cause what you don't understand is_

I do understand...I'm just scared...

_I'd catch a grenade for ya_

_Throw my hand on a blade for ya_

_I'd jump in front of a train for ya_

_You know I'd do anything for ya_

_I would go through all this pain_

_Take a bullet straight through my brai_

_nYes, I would die for ya, baby_

_But you won't do the same_

_If my body was on fire_

_Ooh, you'd watch me burn down in flames_

_You said you loved me, you're a liar_

_'Cause you never, ever, ever did, baby_

_But darling, I'd still catch a grenade for ya_

_Throw my hand on a blade for ya_

_I'd jump in front of a train for ya_

_You know I'd do anything for ya_

_I would go through all this pain_

_Take a bullet straight through my brain_

_Yes, I would die for you, baby_

_But you won't do the same_

_No, you won't do the same_

_You wouldn't do the same_

_Ooh, you never do the same_

_No, no, no, no_

"Kurt...why won't you let me in? Do you not trust me?" Master stood up.

"I do trust you Master. I'm just scared." I looked down.

"Why?" Master sat on the stairs and I moved down so I was kneeling at his feet.

"I've never had sex before, Master. I've never even touched myself. If I got turned on I tried to forget about it and I go take a cold shower..." I looked up into Master's eyes.

"Are you not comfortable with this?" Master looked hurt.

"No. I am. When I think about you, I think Master not Sam." I admitted.

"Then let me in Kurt." Master lifted my chin so I was looking at his eyes.

I swallowed hard and nodded. "What's down here anyways?" I looked around. "I've been down here before, but only admiring your guitar collection. Thank you for bringing mine here, Master."

"No problem, my love. Come on. I'll show you what's down here." Master took my hand and led me to the closed door on the right side of the basement. "Warning: whats behind this door is not PG-13." I giggled. He unlocked the door and opened it.

I gasped. The room was huge. It looked like the inside of a toy shop. There were about 20 different kinds of dildos on the wall some of them the size of an elephant. There were a few riding crops hanging up. Multiple different colors of bondage tape. There was a box with a rope sticking out of it in the corner. "Wow." Butt plugs sat on a table near the door. Finally there was a table in the center of the room. It had cuffs on it. and underneath I noticed there was a sex machine.

"It has to stay locked because I don't want someone walking in here, but here's a key for it. Feel free to come in here anytime." He walked out and I followed. "It's sound proof by the way."

"Do you mind if I look around in there, Master?" I asked sheepishly.

"No problem. I need to go get a bunch of stuff from the store. Do you need anything?" He asked starting up the stairs.

"Brownie mix and ice cream?"

"You want brownies for dessert tonight?"

"No. I want to make brownie milkshakes tonight. My mom taught me how to make them when she was alive and they are the most amazing things ever." I smiled.

"Okay. Movie tonight?"

"Disney." I giggled.

"I know. I'll be back in an hour. Have fun Kurt." Master winked and went up the stairs.

I sat down at the piano bench and waited until I heard the garage door close. Master probably has a camera in that room somewhere...I stood up and headed into the room. While searching for a video camera, I found more dildos and some beads and a bunch of gags. After ten minutes of rummaging I finally found a video camera and a tripod. I set it up and looked at all of his toys. Since I had never actually touched myself I wanted Master to be able to watch it.

I found the lube pretty easily. There were many MANY bottles of it in a cupboard. I decided to just take the smallest dildo off the wall and set the items down on the table. I lined the camera up so that the whole table was in view. The camera had a remote so i walked over to the table and took my clothes off. I left my boxers on and hopped up on the table which was, surprisingly, high. I hit the record button and started softly stroking myself through my boxers. Damn that felt really good.

I pulled my boxers off and blushed lightly. I had never looked at my penis when it was erect...its kinda impressive. I slowly stroked myself and groaned softly. I stroked faster and moaned. I got up on my knees and looked at the camera to make sure I was still in view. I lubed up my index finger and slid it into my ass. Oh god. I slid in another. I brushed across my prostate and my knees almost gave out. I pulled out my fingers and grabbed the dildo. I licked the tip of it then slid it into my mouth. After getting it really wet I put some lube on it just for good measure and pushed it into my ass slowly.

Once I got adjusted I started pushing my hips back into the toy. I pushed it in hard and pulled it out fast. I did it a few times and felt a weird tingly sensation in my stomach. I felt my penis twitch and before I knew what was going on I came, hard. I pulled the toy out and clicked the 'stop' button on the remote.

I got off the table and grabbed the side to steady myself. I started searching around for a towel or something. I found one and cleaned up myself and the mess on the table. I took the dildo into the basement bathroom and rinsed it off. I grabbed my clothes and went into the laundry room. I tossed the towel, my shirt, and my pants into the washer and started it. I put my boxers on and headed up to my room for some sweats. I didn't feel like putting on a shirt.

I walked down to the kitchen and got a handful of granola and a banana. I sat on the counter and ate them. Tossing the peel away, I walked into the living room and sat on the couch.

A little while later I heard the garage door and got down on my knees on the floor and waited for Master to come inside. I heard him on the phone. "No Puck. I think Kurt's letting me in tonight." A pause. Master laughed. "Shut up. You know what I meant. Although that would be nice." Another pause. "I gotta go dude. I'm getting ready to make dinner. Bye." He hung up and I crawled across the short distance. "Hey you." He smiled and put up the groceries.

"I made you something..." I leaned against the wall and pulled the CD out of my pocket.

"What's that?" He asked putting the ice cream away.

"Well..." I cleared my throat. "I found a video camera in that room downstairs..."

Master dropped a box of popcorn on the floor. "Did you now? And what did you do with that?" He picked up the box and leaned on the counter.

"I...Since I hadn't touched myself before...I...erm...I wanted you to see..." I sat up and put the CD on the counter. Sitting back on my heels I looked up at Master. "I used one of the toys, Master."

"How was it?" He walked over to me.

"It felt really good. I..." I swallowed. "I'm ready, Master."

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**I think this is the longest fic I've written...I hope this partially made up for not posting. Again, I'm really sorry. I started a college class this fall and it's really hard and time consuming. Also my aunt died before I went on vacation and I'm still recovering from that. Review!**


	3. Beauty and a Beat

**First of all, a huge thank you to all the reviews! Makes me so so happy. So I hope you guys are enjoying this. This chapter takes a turn from where the last one was going. Warning: Rape (not from Sam). If you don't want to read it, I am putting **** before it starts and after its over. **

**Here are a few of the reviews that made my day(: **

**Saint said: One of the best kurt and sam fanfic and i loved the dom and sub theme so please make a sequel.**

**Robinofthesky said: I love it! You should totally continue! :D**

**Atexn15 said: awwww this is awesome I can't wait to see more. Not normally a SamxKurt fan but now I think it may just become my OTP! **

**Could someone tell me what OTP means? **

**Here's the story haha.**

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Master had taken the DVD and gone upstairs an hour ago...I know for a fact that the DVD was only about 45 minutes long. What was taking Master so long? After another half hour passed I decided to go downstairs to the piano.

I started playing.

_If the heart is always searching,_  
_Can you ever find a home?_  
_I've been looking for that someone,_  
_I'll never make it on my own_  
_Dreams can't take the place of loving you,_  
_There's gotta be a million reasons why it's true._

I had been wanting to sing this to Master for a while, I figured he could hear me from up in his room. I could hear him from mine.

_When you look me in the eyes,_  
_And tell me that you love me._  
_Everything's alright,_  
_When you're right here by my side._  
_When you look me in the eyes,_  
_I catch a glimpse of heaven._  
_I find my paradise,_  
_When you look me in the eyes._

_How long will I be waiting_  
_To be with you again?_  
_Gonna tell you that I love you,_  
_In the best way that I can._  
_I can't take a day without you here,_  
_You're the light that makes my darkness disappear._

Master obviously didn't know where the creaky parts were on the stairs, but I pretended like I didn't notice.

_When you look me in the eyes,_  
_And tell me that you love me._  
_Everything's alright,_  
_When you're right here by my side._  
_When you look me in the eyes,_  
_I catch a glimpse of heaven._  
_I find my paradise,_  
_When you look me in the eyes._

_More and more I start to realize,_  
_I can reach my tomorrow,_  
_I can hold my head up high,_  
_And it's all because you're by my side._

I heard Master sit on the couch behind me.

_When you look me in the eyes,_  
_And tell me that you love me._  
_Everything's alright,_  
_When you're right here by my side._  
_When I hold you in my arms,_  
_I know that it's forever._  
_I just gotta let you know,_  
_I never wanna let you go._

_When you look me in the eyes._  
_And tell me that you love me._  
_Everything's alright,_  
_When you're right here by my side._  
_When you look me in the eyes,_  
_I catch a glimpse of heaven._  
_I find my paradise,_  
_When you look me in the eyes._  
_Oh_

I finished the last few chords and just sat there for a minute. Master didn't say anything.

I turned around and it wasn't Master behind me.

"What are you doing here? What did you do with Master?" I asked the bulky football player sitting across from me.

"Oh he's fine trust me. But you won't be after I'm done with you." He laughed.

I looked over to the room to the right. Shit...Why did I do that?

"What's behind there?" He stood up and yanked the key chain bracelet off my hand. He sauntered over to the door and unlocked it. "Oh. Looks like I won't have to drag you screaming out of the house. And what's this? Sound proof walls. Absolutely perfect."

"Stop." He had started for me.

"Why should I?" He grabbed my wrist and clamped a hand over my mouth. I bit him but it didn't do me any good, he just gripped me tighter.

I really hope this room isn't as sound proof as Master said it was. After Karofsky closed the door he ripped my clothes off and tied me onto the table. I screamed at the top of my lungs for Master. "SAM!" I used his real name because if I yelled Master, he might not come as fast. I screamed his name again.

Karofsky slapped me. "Shut up you whore. He can't hear you. Why did you call him Sam? Don't you have to call him Master?"

"SAM!" I screamed louder. "SAM HELP!"

"Fuck it." Karofsky grabbed one of the gags off the wall and strapped it around my head. "I was going to let you speak, but since you are being difficult you have to be gagged."

I tried yelling for Master again, but it came out as "Mphnm!" Karofsky just laughed and walked over to the lube counter.

"Evans is a dirty, dirty boy isn't he?" He was looking over all the toys around the room. He picked up a small lube bottle and walked back over to the table.

I hadn't noticed before, but the ankle and wrist ties had little silver circles on them. Karofsky sat the lube on my stomach. He tied a rope up to each of my restraints and stood on the table to tie them to the bar hanging above me. How did I miss that? He got down and moved the table, evidently it had wheels on it. "You ready?" I shook my head no. "Ha. Too bad." He dropped his pants and stroked his hard dick. He lubbed up a finger and shoved it in me. I closed my eyes and a tear fell from my eye. "You're lucky. Last kid I did this to I didn't prep him."

I screamed for Master again. "Mphnm!" I screamed as loud as I could and opened my mouth wide so there was room between my lips and the gag. A loud, shrill scream came out and I heard something crash upstairs.

Karofsky obviously didn't hear it because he shoved another finger in me. After a bit he pulled them out and lubed up his dick.

The door slammed open and Master burst through. "Get the fuck out! I already called the police." Karofsky laughed and lunged at Master. Master pulled a bat out from behind him. "Get. The. Fuck. Out."

Karofsky pulled his pants up and turned to wink at me. "Next time, Girlface." He walked out the door and Master locked the door behind him.

"Oh, Kurt. Baby I'm so sorry." He moved the table back under me and loosened the restraints. I undid the gag and threw it to the floor. I didn't care that I was naked I hugged Master as tight as I could. "Kurt, I can't tell you how sorry I am. I was watching your video and I fell asleep right after. I haven't had a lot of sleep lately and I guess I didn't hear you screaming until that loud shriek." I started crying. "I have no idea how he got in here. Let's get you dressed and we can go get new locks for every door and window okay?"

"Did you really call the cops Master?" I asked sniffling.

"No. We are going by there right after we get you dressed." He led me out of the room and let me go upstairs alone, but not without protest. "Kurt, scream loud if he's up there. If you need to, knock something breakable over."

Five minutes later I came down. "I'm ready."

We went to the police station and filed a restraining order against Karofsky and the cops said they would arrest him for sexual assault if we had proof. Master sighed and looked at me. "Don't hate me Kurt. I have proof officer. I have security cameras all over the house. I brought the tape of Karofsky with me." Master handed it over and the cops dismissed us, promising a call when they brought him in.

"Thank you." I said once we were in the car.

"For?"

"The security cameras." I closed my door and buckled up.

"I just want you safe." Master started the car. "Ice cream?"

"Yes, please, Master." I smiled for the first time in three hours.

"I have a song I want to sing for you. I wanted to wait until later, but now seems like a better time. Can you get the CD out of the glove compartment? It's the one in a blue case." He looked over at me then back at the road.

"This one?" He nodded. I put it in and pressed play.

_Show you off_  
_Tonight I wanna show you off aye,aye,aye_  
_What you got_  
_A billion could've never bought aye,aye,aye_

_We gonna party like it's 3012 tonight_  
_I wanna show you all the finer things in life_  
_So just forget about the world, we're young tonight_  
_I'm coming for ya, I'm coming for ya_

_Cause all_  
_I need, is a Beauty and a Beat_  
_Who can make my life complete_  
_It's all_  
_Bout you, when the music makes you move_  
_Baby do it like you do_  
_Cause_

_Body rock,_  
_Girl, I can feel your body rock _  
_Take a bow, you on the hottest ticket now_

_We gonna party like it's 3012 tonight_  
_I wanna show you all the finer things in life_  
_So just forget about the world, we're young tonight_  
_I'm coming for ya, I'm coming for ya_

_Cause all_  
_I need, is a Beauty and a Beat_  
_Who can make my life complete_  
_It's all.._  
_Bout you, when the music makes you move_  
_Baby do it like you do_

_Uh, Uh_  
_In time, ink lines, b-bitches couldn't get on my incline_  
_World tour, it's mine, ten little letters, on a big sign_  
_Justin.. Bieber you know Imma hit 'em with the ether_  
_Buns out, weiner, but I gotta keep an eye out for Selener_  
_Beauty, Beauty and the Beast_  
_Beauty from the east, beautiful confessions of the priest_  
_Beast, beauty from the streets, we don't get deceased_  
_Every time a beauty on the beats_  
_Body rock, girl, I wanna feel your body rock_

_Cause all.._  
_I need, is a Beauty and a Beat_  
_Who can make my life complete_  
_It's all.._  
_Bout you, when the music makes you move_  
_Baby do it like you do_  
_Cause.._

__That was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard. "I didn't know you liked Bieber, Master." I smiled and a tear slipped out of my eye. "I love you, Master."

"I love you too, Kurt." He looked over at me and lingered his eyes for a bit too long. There was a long loud honk and we both turned our eyes back to the road.

"MASTER!"

"SHIT!" He swerved, but it was too late. The car hit us full force.

"Kurt, can you hear me?" There was someone speaking to me. It wasn't Master. I nodded. "Good. Okay, so you guys hit that car pretty hard. You were awake when the ambulance got to the scene. Do you remember anything?"

_"MASTER!" I screamed._

_"SHIT!" He swerved, but we hit the car. _

_"Master, are you okay?" His head was bleeding and his eyes were closed. "Master?!" I cried. I tried to move, but I couldn't get out of my chair. "SAM!" I screamed at him. "WAKE UP!" I started sobbing and slipped into unconsciousness._

"Is M-Sam okay?" I almost called him Master, but the doctor might get weirded out by that..

"He's unconscious. We stitched him up, but he has been out of surgery for four hours. You've been here for seven hours by the way Kurt. You woke up earlier, but you started screaming so we gave you a sedative. Do you remember?"

"No. Is he okay?" I repeated.

"We don't know yet. His heart is beating fine, but he should've woken up three hours ago. He might be in a coma." I started crying. "Is he your brother?"_  
_

"No. I'm his sub. He's my Master. I need to be near him. Please." I begged.

"Usually I can't do that, but considering the circumstances I will make an exception. You aren't very beat up anyways. I'll be back." He left the room and returned five minutes later with a nurse. "Kurt, do you have any friends you would like to call? Family maybe?" I nodded and gave him Mercedes' number. He dialed it and gave me his cell.

"Hey Cedes..." I told her what happened and asked her if she could bring me ice cream and bring Finn. I said goodbye and asked if I could call my dad and Master's mom.

Two hours later I was sitting outside Master's room with Mercedes, Finn, and Dad. Upon doctor's orders I was brought fro-yo instead of ice cream, but it was still good and any frozen treat calmed me down. "Kurt, we wrapped up all of his cuts and other things, but he still looks pretty bad. His mother is still crying. Are you sure you want to be with him? " I nodded and the doctor wheeled me in.

What I saw made my heart sink to the floor.

* * *

**Okay...so I definitely didn't have that planned when I started this chapter...Uhm...haha...well. Stay tuned to see what happens to Sam.**

**The two songs are When You Look Me In The Eyes by Jonas Brothers and Beauty and A Beat by Justin Bieber (ft. Nikki Minaj)**

**R&R**


	4. Hospital Flowers

**Sorry it's been so long since I've updated...I've been sick and super busy for the past few weeks so please be patient with me. **

**This chapter is going to be a little different. Here's a little bit of info that won't be in the story itself (at least I don't think it will).**

**Sam is still in his coma and Kurt has been moved into his room. Since Karofsky hasn't been arrested yet, Kurt is staying at the hospital until Sam gets better since he will have no one to be with him 24/7. Kurt had a small concussion and a broken arm, he is better now. Sam, on the other hand, has seven broken ribs, a broken ankle, a broken knee, his jaw was dislocated, and his head was bleeding so he's a bit messed up.**

**I hope you are enjoying this story.**

**R&R**

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Dad and Finn finally convinced me to take a break from being around Master and go to the cafeteria or coffee shop. I was actually kind of excited to walk around the hospital, it was so huge. There was a coffee shop on the bottom floor, a large gift shop one floor above us, on the floor under us there was an arcade and a candy shoppe, and the cafeteria served edible food.

I went to the gift shop first and bought a few teddy bears. One was for Master and the other three were for the kids a few doors down from us who had cancer and came into our room every day to check on Master and to have the glee club sing to them.

Speaking of the glee club, Mr. Shue got them all excused from their last two classes of the day two times a week so they could come visit us. Since there were ten, not including Master and I, they came two at a time.

I went to the cafeteria last where Finn and Dad were sitting with coffees. "Hey, buddy. We went to Starbucks and I got you your favorite."

I sniffed the coffee hesitantly before asking, "Fat free?" Dad handed me the ticket:

_16 oz fat free white chocolate peppermint mocha _

"Thank you. I was just headed outside. Could you come get me if anything new comes up about Master?" I took a sip.

"Sure think, kiddo."

I went out into the garden that was behind the hospital and wandered for a little while. I had come here two days ago and found a swing in the very back corner. In order to get there I had to crawl under a bush and over a log so I figured it was a good place to go and be alone.

I sat down and pulled my legs up to my chest. I sat the coffee on the floor and closed my eyes.

_ Today is the day. Today I move in with Sam. Usually when subs go on the market, they get called to the agency, but I guess Sam was persistent about me so they made an exception. _

_I remember when I was first told I was a sub. I was only 16 and didn't know much about it other than that my dad was a sub and didn't have to be taken back to the agency after Mom died because I was only six at the time and he had to take care of me. He had a heart attack shortly after I turned eleven so the agency told him he was released. _

_I googled stuff about being a sub and saw so many pictures. They were horrible. The subs were skin and bones and they had gashes in their bodies and most had no hair. I was so scared about going to the agency because Karofsky wanted me. He didn't love me. He loved my ass. _

_I hate Karofsky so much. I am so glad that Sam has a January birthday so that he could claim me before Karofsky turned 18. _

_I started to pack up my sheet music. Halfway through I found a letter from the court confirming my restraining order request. Shortly after I turned 17, Karofsky started making moves on me. I told Mr. Shue, but all that did was make Karofsky mad. During summer vacation, Karofsky came to my house in the middle of the day and broke my door in. He charged at me and ripped my clothes off. I screamed, but all it got me was a black eye and swollen lips. He raped me. He kept thrusting into me until I passed out. I was lucky he came in me because they did a rape kit and figured out it was him and got him out of Lima. _

__I started crying. I tried so very hard to keep that memory away. The restraining order expired the day he came to Master's house. I had forgotten about the date and should've had Master stay with me at all times. Because I didn't, Mast and I went to the police station and then got in a wreck. If only I had shown Master the restraining order. We could have avoided him being in a coma. "Kurt!" I heard someone yelling for me so I got up and crawled out of my place.

"KURT!" I could tell now that it was Finn.

"I'm coming!" I yelled back.

"Kurt! He's awake!" I dropped my coffee and tried to run, but my ankle was still hurting and I tripped. Finn leaned over and I hopped on his back. He ran to Master's room.

"Dad, Finn told me Master is awake! Where's the doctor?" I asked very excited.

"He's in there right now. Mrs. Evans is on her way. She said you could go in and see him first."

"Kurt. He's asking for you." The doctor let me in the room and closed the door behind me.

"Oh, Master. I was so worried!" I hurried to his side and took his hand.

"What happened?" He asked groggily.

"We got in a wreck." I said, the excitement gone from the room. "We hit the car head on. The driver's side of the car was completely totaled. Your head was bleeding. I kept yelling for you to wake up. I used your name because I thought you would hear me. Master, I was so scared. I thought you were-" I choked on a sob.

"Shhh." Master soothed. He rubbed his thumb across my knuckles and smiled at me. "I'm okay or at least I will be. What happened to you?"

"A few broken bones and a concussion. Nothing too serious. They said you might have a serious case of amnesia when you woke up. What's the last thing you remember?" I sat in the chair beside the bed.

"Coming home to your DVD," he winked.

I smiled, "So it's not that bad."

"Why did we get in a wreck. I remember what I had in mind and it did not involve driving a car."

"Karofsky came. He tried to rape me." I said quietly.

"Oh, Kurt. I'm so so sorry. I can't believe he-" Master stopped mid-sentence and closed his eyes tightly. "That hurt. Okay, so no more excitement.." He laughed.

"I love you, Master." I smiled and squeezed his hand.

"I love you too, Kurt."

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**Sorry it's so short. I feel like I've added enough in it for now. What did you think of the reflection part where Kurt thinks about the day he moved in with Sam? Should I do more things like that? R&R the next chapter should be up soon. **


	5. A Little Bit Longer

**Just a little thank you to my 18 reviewers! It made me so happy the other day when I looked at this story and saw that I had 18 reviews. 18! Thank you so much! I cannot express to you how happy it makes me when I see all those lovely reviews. They are like crack to me. Please let me know if you have a song suggestion that you think should be in this story and who should sing it. Also if you have a plot idea for a chapter let me know. Please IM me with both of those, we wouldn't want to spoil it for everyone else to see it in the reviews(: Also I am going to try to update either every monday or every other...deppends hoe busy my beta and I are.**

**ANYWAYS!**

**Here ya' go! Hope you like it. :D**

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"Master? Are you awake?" I poked Master's hand and he giggled.

"Yes, Kurt I am. You don't have to call me Master here."

"I know, but I want to."

"You also don't have to sit on the floor." He laughed again.

"My spot is at your feet, but the bed is too narrow, Master." I smiled up at him. "My spot will forever be at your feet until the day I die." Master smiled down at me and ran his hand through my hair. "I love when you do that." I closed my eyes and leaned in.

"I thought you hated it when anyone messed your hair up?"

"I do, but that feels good." I sighed contently. Master kept petting my hair. I sighed again. "Master?"

"Yes, Kurt?" He stopped moved his hand.

"How's your breathing?"

"Fine why?" I stood up and pressed my lips to his. He deepened the kiss. Master might have stopped breathing because the monitor spazzed out.

I resumed my position on the floor as a nurse came running in. "Is everything okay?" She asked looking between the two of us.

"It's perfect. I may have made Master stop breathing because I kissed him." I blushed and giggled.

"You boys are trouble, you know that?" She laughed and walked out of the room.

"You _are _trouble." Master motioned me back up. "I think my body is healed. Wanna lay up here with me? Cuddle maybe?" I nodded my head and Master rolled on his side. I started to get in facing him, but he stopped me. "We haven't spooned in almost a month. You are facing the other way mister." He laughed.

"I missed this." I said almost an hour later.

"So did I." Master kissed the back of my neck.

"Well, Mr. Evans. Looks like you will be able to go home in a couple days." The doctor walked in. I started to get up, but Master's arms tightened around my waist. "We just need to run a couple tests and we will have the results within a few hours. That will tell us if you can go home today or in two days."

Three hours later, the doctor came back in to tell us that the tests turned out good and that we could go home tomorrow.

"Kurt, baby, we get to go home." Master smiled and squeezed my hand.

"I know. I'm so happy. I miss your bed." I giggled.

"_My _bed?" I winked. "Oh. I miss my bed too." We were in a fit of laughs when the nurse came in. She cleared her throat.

"Again. You two are trouble. The hospital is getting to you." She winked at us and left the room shaking her head.

"I don't think she knows what to do about us." Master finally calmed down enough to speak.

"I think you're right. Poor girl." I giggled again.

"I love your giggle. It's cute." Master cupped my cheek in his hand. "So, I was on Spotify yesterday while you were napping and came across a song that I think fits out situation and I'd like to sing it for you. Could you hand me my guitar?" A few days ago, Finn went over to our house and brought my travel keyboard and Master's guitar. Apparently the hospital staff is a lot nicer if you sing songs for them. I handed Master his guitar and he sat up so he could play.

_Got the news today doctor said I had to stay_

_A little bit longer and I'll be fine_

_When I thought it'd all been done_

_When I thought it'd all been said_

_A little bit longer and I'll be fine_

_But you don't know what you got until it's gone_

_And you don't know what it's like to feel so low_

_And every time you smile, you laugh, you glow_

_You don't even know, know, know_

_You don't even know_

_All this time goes by, still no reason why_

_A little bit longer and I'll be fine_

_Waiting on a cure but none of them are sure_

_A little bit longer and I'll be fine_

_But you don't know what you got until it's gone_

_And you don't know what it's like to feel so low_

_And every time you smile, you laugh, you glow_

_You don't even know, know, know_

_You don't even know, know, know_

_You don't even know, know, know_

_But you don't know what you got until it's gone_

_And you don't know what it's like to feel so low, yeah_

_And every time you smile, you laugh, you glow_

_You don't even know, yeah, whoa, yeah_

_You don't even know_

_So I'll wait 'til kingdom come_

_All the highs and lows are gone_

_A little bit longer and I'll be fine_

_I'll be fine_

"I love when you sing me Jonas Brother's songs." I kissed Master, then put his guitar back on its stand. "Can I lay with you again?"

"Always, my love." Master moved to make room and I resumed my earlier position. "I love you so much, Kurt."

"I love you too, Master." I pulled his hand up and kissed it. "We need a bigger hospital bed. Remind me again why we didn't listen to Puck when he told us we should ask for a bigger one?"

"Because we thought he figured we would try to have sex and one of us would fall off, therefore putting us in here longer." Master kissed the back of my neck.

"Right. We still should've asked for a bigger one."

"We should've, but there's no point asking now." My stomach growled and Master laughed.

"I'm hungry. Do you need anything?"

"Nope. I'm good. Thank you, though." Master moved his arms so I could get up.

I went down to the cafeteria and found Finn and Puck sitting at a table. "Hey. What are you doing here, Noah?"

"Finn was bored." He shrugged. As if it was the most obvious thing in the world, which, knowing Finn, it was.

"Finn, you could go home." I laughed and sat down.

"Yeah, I know, but I'd rather stay here. Burt is at the shop and Mom is out with some friends getting you and Sam stuff for your house. Don't tell her I told you."

"I won't." I laughed and took a bite out of the chicken salad sandwich I bought. "I need you guys to help me with something. I'm actually glad you're here, Noah. I need the nurses and doctor to stay out of Master's room for about half an hour. And I don't know how to explain to them the whole teenagers being holed up in a hospital for a month without a long enough moment...alone." I blushed a furious shade of red and Puck started laughing.

"We'll help you, bro." Finn smacked Puck on the back of his head to shut him up.

"Thank you, _Finn_." I smiled.

"Hey! What about me? I'll be the one keeping them away from his room." Puck laughed again and shielded his head from both Finn and I.

"Just be creative. I don't care what you tell them to keep them away from the room." I finished my sandwich and stood up to leave.

"Wait, I can tell them anything?" Puck asked with a gleam in his eyes.

"Yes, Noah. Just this once I give you permission to tell people I'm giving Master a blow job and to keep away." I laughed and walked off.

I got back to the room and locked the door. "Why are you locking the door?" Master sat up.

"Lay back down." He looked very confused. "Just lay down, Master." I laughed and pulled his blanket down.

"What are you-"

"Master, please stop talking."

"Fine." He laughed and leaned back. I moved his hospital gown out of the way and stroked his cock through his boxers. "What about the nurses?"

"Noah is taking care of it." I kissed Master and pulled his boxers down.

"You know you don't have to do this now." Master put his hand on mine.

"I know, but I want to." I smiled and took his cock into my mouth. I went down until he was completely in my mouth and looked up at him.

"Shit. That looks so hot." He groaned. I pulled back up again and put my hands under his thighs, hoping that he would get the silent message. Evidently he did, because he thrusted up into my mouth. "I'm gonna cum."

I moved my hands and he stopped thrusting. I wrapped a hand around the base of his cock and moved it up and down with my mouth. Moments later Master came into my mouth and let his head fall back.

"Shit, Kurt. That was amazing. Are you sure you've never done that before?" Master moved so I could crawl up next to him.

"Noah may have made me watch a video on how to do it..." I trailed of and giggled.

"I don't care if Rachel taught you how, that was amazing. Thank you." Master kissed my forehead. "Do you want me to..."

"No...i-it's okay." I looked down.

"I'm so sorry, baby. It will get better. I promise. And Karofsky will never get near you again." Master pulled me close.

"I should unlock the door..." I moved and got up. "I'm going to go get coffee. Do you want some?"

"Can you bring me apple juice and chips?" Master smiled at me again. "I don't care what kind."

"Sure. Be back in a few."

On my way to the cafeteria I ran into Noah. Literally. "Noah! Watch where you're going!" I hit his shoulder.

"Ow! Sorry, Kurt." He pulled one of his trademark smirks. "What'd Sam say?"

"He asked me why I was locking the door. Then I straddled him and he asked what I was doing. I didn't answer him though. He figured out soon enough." I laughed.

"And did he do the same for you?" Noah walked with me to the cafeteria.

"N-no...I'm still recovering from the whole David incident." I mumbled. "He said he was sorry again..."

"Shit, Kurt. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"Dammit! Will people stop treating me like that?!" I screamed.

"Like what?" Noah put his hands up and stepped back.

"Like I'm a fucking rape victim!"

"But, Kurt-"

"No! Don't. If Master wants to know where I am, tell him I went outside." I stormed off leaving a very confused Noah and a few staring nurses and patients behind.

"Dude, what'd you do?" I heard Finn, then a smack. I scoffed. He deserved it.

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**I want to thank my awesome beta! She researched Glee so she could better edit this. She's awesome! Check her out That Kid With the Long Coat.**


	6. U Smile

**So I apologize in advance...I got a bit busy this past week and couldn't get this story to my beta. I'm sorry if there are any errors... Hope you enjoy it though!**

**Yay! Kurt and Sam get to go home! Whoo-hoo! Anyone else excited? And what did Kurt mean when he said he missed Sam's bed? Find out in this chapter (I hope XD ) Will Kurt let Sam _in_? We shall see...**

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**(Sam's P.O.V.)**

*****Three weeks later*

_"Oh, Master." Kurt moaned. God his moan was sexy. "Faster. Please."_

_"As you wish, my love." Quickening my pace, I angled my hips so I hit Kurt's prostate with every thrust._

_"Fuck! Yes yes yes yes SHIT!" Kurt was swearing like a sailor._

_"I'm the only one who gets to hear that. The only one who can make you say those words. The only one who can make you feel so good." I wrapped a hand around Kurt's dick and pumped fast._

_"Shit. I'm so close Master." Kurt flung his head back and moaned. He came hard over my hand and his abdomen. Kurt's ass tightened around my cock and I came shortly after. "That was amazing, Master. I love you so much."_

_"I love you too, Kurt." I pulled out and wrapped my arms around Kurt's middle. "I need to ask you something."_

_"Anything, Master."_

_"I know you are my sub, therefore bound to me until death..."_

_"But?"_

_I got off the bed and went down on one knee. "Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, will you do the honnor of not only being my submissive, but also my husband?"_

I startled awake and groaned. Why couldn't that be real? I got out of bed and walked downstairs to make breakfast.

"Master, why are you up so early?" A sleepy Kurt made his way into the kitchen and to his place by my feet.

"Couldn't fall back asleep. Did I wake you?" I set a plate of eggs, bacon, and toast in front of Kurt.

"No. I usually get up this early. I just wait in my room until I hear you wake up."

An hour later Kurt had finished cleaning the kitchen and came into the living room. He started to sit on the floor, but I stopped him. "Sit up here, love."

"Okay." Kurt smiled and curled into my side. "What's the occasion?"

"I just want to hold you. I love you so much, Kurt." I kissed his head and pulled him up into my lap.

"I love you too, Master." He made a content noise and leaned into my chest.

"Remember our last day in the hospital? When you had Puck keep the nurses out? Do you mind if I reciprocate?" I felt Kurt tense up a little. "It's okay if you're still not ready. I want to take this at a pace you can handle."

He mumbled something into my chest. "Kurt, sweetie, you are going to have to speak up." I kissed his forehead.

"I said, okay. I'm ready, Master." He smiled up at me.

"Remember the safe word?" I pushed him lightly back on the couch and straddled him. He nodded. "Kurt, you need to say it so I know you know it."

"Glee, Master." He smiled again.

"Thank you, pet." I kissed him softly and started unbuttoning his night shirt. I kissed his chest as opened the buttons. "Please use it if you need to." He sat up as I got to the last button and shrugged out of the shirt. I pulled his pajama pants down and kissed down one leg as I did. When I got to his foot I moved to the other leg and kissed up it.

"That feels good, Master." Kurt closed his eyes and made a content sound in the back of his throat.

I moved back up to his lips and cupped my hand around his clothed dick. I moved my lips to his neck and made a mark. "Please tell me if it's too much, Kurt."

"I will, Master." He moaned.

I pulled his boxers down and sat back on my heels to admire his naked beauty. "Is something wrong, Master?"

"Not at all." I wrapped a hand around the base of his dick and took it slowly into my mouth. I would've gone faster, but I didn't want to spook him. When I got to my hand I pulled back up. I repeated this a few times before pulling off and looking up at Kurt. "Is this still okay?"

"Yes, Master. Please keep doing that. Feels so good." I pumped my fist a few times and he moaned and dropped his head back onto the couch. I giggled then put his dick back into mouth and continued to suck him off. "Close, Master." I pulled off and he whined in protest. "Why?"

"Come downstairs in fifteen minutes. Okay, love?"

"Yes, Master."

I ran downstairs, which was hard to do seeing as I had a massive hard on. I unlocked _the _door and stepped inside. I flipped the light on then closed the door. I hope fifteen minutes is long enough. I hurried over to the closet in the far side of the room and pulled the air mattress out. I plugged it into the wall and it began inflating. Hurrying back to the closet I felt around until my hand found the switch. I flipped it and the back wall moved.

When I bought this house, I had the contractors make a secret door inside the closet where I could hide anything I wanted. I was the only person who knew where the switch was. I walked into the room and grabbed the bucket of rose petals and began sprinkling them around the bed. I sprinkled them towards the door and quietly opened it. I spread the rest in a line to the stair case and pulled the note out of the bottom. I put it on the door then walked in and locked it.

**(Kurt's P.O.V)**

****It had been fifteen minutes exactly when I started down the stairs. I saw a note on the floor surrounded by rose petals that said _"Hope you still have your key." _I blushed and walked back up the stairs to grab the key off the counter in the kitchen. I hurried back down the stairs and unlocked the door.

I went to turn on the light, but stopped. There were at least ten candles strategically placed around the room, so that they gave enough light to see fairly well. There were rose petals in here, too. They led from to door to a large blow up mattress, continued around it and stopped when they got back to the line. There were a few scattered on the bed. I looked around the room. Master had put up sheets over the shelves and the table. There was a soft music playing, I was so overwhelmed I couldn't tell what song it was.

"So, what do you think?" I heard Master behind me and turned around.

"This is amazing." I wrapped my arms around him.

"I know it's not ideal, but I've been planning this for a couple months now. I want your first time to be special."

"If I'm with you, it will be special." I kissed him lightly and he took my hand and led me to the bed.

"Lie down." I did as I was told. Master started to take his clothes off.

"Wait. Let me." I stood back up and slid my hands under his shirt. I pulled it over his head then kissed his cheek. I made a trail of kisses down to his sweats. I pulled them down along with his boxers and stood back up. "You are so beautiful, Master." I kissed him again.

"As are you, my love." Master and I layed side by side on the bed. He put his hand on my cheek and smiled. "This is actually happening."

"I know." I smiled back and put my hand over his. "Not to be disrespectful, Master, but will you shut up and kiss me?"

Master laughed. As he kissed me, he rolled so that he was on top. I deepened the kiss and wrapped my arms around his neck.

Master pulled away and moved down my body. He spread my legs apart and I bent them. He ran his tongue down my dick until he got to my ass. I shivered. He smirked and licked my hole. I moaned and he stuck his tongue in my ass. He put a finger near my mouth so I sucked on it. He pulled it out of my mouth then eased it into my ass. I tensed up. "Relax, Kurt." He rubbed my thigh as he inserted another. He prepped me for a little while then pulled out. "You have to relax okay? Otherwise this will hurt worse."

"I'm ready, Master." He pushed in slowly. Once he was all the way in, he stopped and let me adjust. I had my eyes closed tight. "Go ahead." He leaded forward and kissed me as he started to move.

**(Sam's P.O.V.)**

****Was that real? I was in the state between being asleep and awake. I finally opened my eyes and saw a naked Kurt in my arms. It was real. I finally got him to trust me. I kissed his forehead and he slowly opened his eyes. "Hey beautiful."

"Hi there," he giggled. "What time is it?"

"Almost six pm." I pulled him close. "We slept most of the day away."

"That was amazing, Master." He rolled over so that we were pressed chest to chest and winced. "My ass hurts."

I laughed. "I kinda figured it would. You kept wanting me to go faster and harder."

He giggled again. "It's your fault. You listened to me."

"True." I held him close for a few minutes. "I have another song to sing you."

"Do you want me to get your guitar?"

"Nope. Stay there."

_Oh_

_Yeah_  
_Mmmm_

_I'd wait on you forever and a day_  
_Hand and foot_  
_Your world is my world_  
_Yeah_  
_Ain't no way you're ever gon' get_  
_Any less than you should_  
_Cause baby_  
_You smile I smile (oh)_  
_Cause whenever_  
_You smile I smile_  
_Hey hey hey_

_Your lips, my biggest weakness_  
_Shouldn't have let you know_  
_I'm always gonna do what they say (hey)_

_If you need me_  
_I'll come running_  
_From a thousand miles away_  
_When you smile I smile (oh whoa)_  
_You smile I smile_  
_Hey_

_Baby take my open heart and all it offers_  
_Cause this is as unconditional as it'll ever get_  
_You ain't seen nothing yet_  
_I won't ever hesitate to give you more_  
_Cause baby (hey)_  
_You smile I smile (whoa)_  
_You smile I smile_  
_Hey hey hey_  
_You smile I smile_  
_I smile I smile I smile_  
_You smile I smile_  
_Make me smile baby_

_Baby you won't ever work for nothing_  
_You are my ins and my means now_  
_With you there's no in between_  
_I'm all in_  
_Cause my cards are on the table_  
_And I'm willing and I'm able_  
_But I fold to your wish_  
_Cause it's my command_  
_Hey hey hey_

_You smile I smile (whoa)_  
_You smile I smile_  
_Hey hey hey_  
_You smile I smile_  
_I smile I smile I smile_  
_You smile I smile_  
_Oh_

_You smile I smile_

_You smile I smile_

__"If you're sad, I'm sad. If you're happy, I'm happy. If you ask for something I will give it to you." I smiled and pulled him impossibly close. "Don't abuse that power."

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**Again, I'm sorry if there are any mistakes. The song used is U Smile by Justin Bieber. I seem to have a thing for using Bieber in my stories...**

**ANYWHO! Hope you liked it! Thanks again to my 20 reviewers! Please let me know if you have a plot idea! I will accept anything! Love you all! Have a happy new year!**


	7. Author's Note

**Hey guys, so I'm not updating this week. My grandma is dying and I'm going to Illinois to be with family on Tuesday. I might be able to post next Monday, but no promises. I'm sorry. **


	8. Author's Note2

**Okay so I need to apologize for not updating. My neighbor, who is like an uncle to me, died two weeks ago and a very very dear friend of mine committed suicide this week. I may not update for a few weeks...please be patient with me...**


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